It has not been too long from the time I was extremely depressed. I had plenty of self esteem issues and felt completly helpless. I looked everywhere for peace. Researched many religons, tried substances to ease my mind, I'd cut myself, I was rebellious towards my parents, I was looking for peace in all the wrong places. Close friends never knew this because I knew how to fake being happy. It wasn't untill I started reading the bible and had talks with my aunt and cousin about the love that God has for us, that I slowly felt change in me. I've had so many experiances with God that I cannot deny or hide anymore. I want everyone to know how beautiful it is to put yourselfs in the hands of God. It's not been too long since I gave myself to Him but He has already done so much change to my insides. It's a constant love that he offers and I know there is still more to come and that I will have my dark times but I know that He is always with me and that is always enough. Thanks to God's blessings I have been reunited with my birth mom Lucy. She prayed for me so much and God heard her prayers. God always hears our prayers.
I was reading my journal and found this letter I wrote to God. I'd love to share it.May 3, 2010
Dear God,
Your love surprises me.I have denied you many times, I have pushed you away when I needed you the most, I have said your name in vain and I still find it hard to stand up for you when others disrespect you. But Here you are, loving me, calling me, you have always been with me. Signs become clearer as I become closer to you. I must confess, however, often times I am afraid of disapointing you, but I have experienced your love. You have touched my soul many times and I have talked to you alone about all my worries and you have listened. When I meditate with you, when I read your book, your words, I find peace, I find my life guide. God I ask that you help me stay in tune with you everyday. This way I can bring more people to you, with your constant love I will change and become an example. I know you won't do all the work, I know you want me to devote more time to your word and thats what I will do. For you. I will take footsteps with you. For you. Thank you God for being here with me. For me. Because you love me and all your people.
Be strong and corageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave nor forsake you. Deuternomy 31:6
